My morning routine.
Distance: The Ultimate Cockblocker
story of my freaking life.
spenceralthouse: every day I don’t find a job means I should have become a prostitute that much sooner.
I just want someone who will buy me the really really really really big bag of...
Kay, have a nice day, I’m gonna go smash my head into a hammer multiple...
I am SICK AND TIRED of always having to apologize first. That’s bullshit....
AP Stylebook-Approved Ways to Say “Vibrator”
thetangential: Port-a-Peen Jiggle Dick Vagina Wand Cervix Sniffer Midnight Cowboy Glow Worm Vag Monster Salad Finger Labia Looser Tootsie Roll Pearl Diver Moan Manufacturor Lonely Lady Lubricator Front Door Friend Gene Simmons’ Tongue of Fun Clitpecker Bun Filler Robo Dong -Jay Gabler, Becky Lang, Jason Zabel, Jay Boller
Anonymous asked: kiss me?
I would have kissed you but I would have felt creepy because you were sleeping,...– tippin-onmydick420
dad: those people on that tumblr website are gonna kidnap you one day
me: dad they barely even leave their room
I might not be attractive, but I am pretty awesome. Plus my hair is blue. You ...
REBLOG IF YOU WOULD ATTEND A TUMBLR USER...
We’d wear t-shirts with our urls on it. And we could party together.